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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the unemployment rates in three countries (the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan) between 1993 and 2007.

The line graph shows the unemployment rates in three countries (the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan) between 1993 and 2007.
The graph gives data about the indicators of
unemployment
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 in three countries , the UK,the
rest
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 of
Europe
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 and Japan , from 1993 to 2007
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen clearly that
while
Linking Words
 the
rest
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 of
Europe
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's rates decreased significantly, indicators of the UK declined over time. As the line graph shows, the
rest
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 of
Europe
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 started with about 9 per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed in 1993, followed by a small growth to around 11 per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed in 1995.
However
Linking Words
, it experienced a steady decline to just over 10 per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed between 1995 and 1997.
Then
Linking Words
, it decreased to exactly 8 per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed in 2001. It
fluctuatedto
Correct your spelling
fluctuated to
 9 per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed from 2001 to 2005.Afterwards, the
rest
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 of
Europe
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 decreased considerably until the end of the term.Regarding
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the UK began with approximately 11 per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed in 1993.
Then
Linking Words
, there was
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 decline of 5per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed between 1995 and 2001.
By contrast
Linking Words
, it levelled
offat
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off at
 5 per
cent
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unemployment
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 from 2001 to 2005. There was a steady 9 per
cent
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unemployment
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 rate in 2007. Turning to Japan started with approximately 2 per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed in 1993, followed by a tiny rise to about 3 per
cent
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unemployment
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 between 1995 and 1997.
Whereas
Linking Words
, it levelled off at exactly 3 per
cent
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unemployment
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 from 1997 to 1999.
Then
Linking Words
, there was steadily rose 5 percent of
people
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 unemployed between 1999 and 2001. Afterwards, it fluctuated to 5per
cent
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unemployment
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 in 2003. There was
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
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 decrease of 3per
cent
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 of
people
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 unemployed until the end of the term

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, rest, europe, cent, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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