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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart displays the number of employees in the period from 1993 to 2003 for men and women in five different nations.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Europe was the highest in 1990 with 280.2 employees and has to increasing since
then
Linking Words
.
In addition
Linking Words
, they hit 390.3 in 1995 to
finally
Linking Words
 peak with 400.2 in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, the Middle East was the lowest throughout the years. In 1990, they only had 9.8.
In addition
Linking Words
, they started to develop the amount in 1995, 2000, to
finally
Linking Words
 reached their highest in 2005 with a total of 14.8.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, America had a huge improvement since 1990, with 80.5 million to hit more than 100 million by 1995.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 USA reached its peak in 2000 to
finally
Linking Words
 drop in 2005 with 113.2.
Overall
Linking Words
, Europe was the most followed by America,
then
Linking Words
 Asia and the Pacific , after them comes Africa,
then
Linking Words
lastly
Linking Words
 the Middle East with the lowest amount.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, in addition".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • more
  • less
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • change
  • pattern
  • trend
  • year
  • 1993
  • 2003
  • men
  • women
  • work
  • employment
  • full-time
  • part-time
  • gap
  • difference
  • compare
  • between
  • in
  • for
  • by
  • across
  • total
  • overall
  • higher
  • lower
  • these
  • tables
  • report
  • summarize
  • describe
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