IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfies with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter •Describe the item you bought and why you need it •explain why you are not happy with it •say what you would like the manager to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well and in the best spirits. I am writing
this
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 letter to express my dissatisfaction towards the
item
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 which I bought from your "The Electronics" store. The
item
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 which I bought is
AirPods
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 fourth generation from the Apple Brand. I spent a hefty amount on it. Recently, I bought an iPhone 15 Pro , and I have a habit to
listen
Verb problem
apply
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music all the time .
That is
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 why
,
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 I think buying
AirPods
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 is a great idea to listen it
while
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 commuting. Actually, I ordered it from your online website, where you mentioned that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 these
AirPods
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 have excellent features
such
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 as superior battery power, sound quality ,
etecetera
Correct your spelling
etc
. But when I received it
then
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 it was not up to the mark. The vocals sometimes sound muffled, because of that I can not hear properly. I kindly request
you
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that you
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to
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apply
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return
this
Linking Words
item
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 back, and issue me a refund for
this
Linking Words
item
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 . I am really dissatisfied.Alternatively, you can exchange these
AirPods
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 with another one. I hope you will take
this
Linking Words
 matter seriously to retain the consumer's trust. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon! Yours faithfully, Sam.

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structure
Break the text into clear parts. Start with one idea per paragraph. Add a short intro and a conclusion.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words. Use 'first', 'next', 'however', 'therefore'.
grammar
Fix grammar and word choice. Use plain words like 'I bought', 'it does not work', 'I would like'.
content
Be clear about what you want: refund or exchange, and put the order number and date.
content
The letter states what was bought and why.
content
It asks for refund or exchange clearly.
tone
Polite closing is used.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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