IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
These charts illustrate the
amount
Check wording
differences
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
water
Use synonyms
differences
Check wording
apply
show examples
consumption for various reasons in six regions of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 using
water
Use synonyms
 for agriculture was very common. And domestic use was the lowest percentage among them. Using
water
Use synonyms
 for producing agricultural products was very popular in Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South
America
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
show examples
 the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 used for
this
Linking Words
 purpose in the first three countries and Africa
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 more than 80% and 70%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, more than a third of
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 was reported to help
harvesting
Wrong verb form
harvest
show examples
 crops in Europe and North
America
Use synonyms
. North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe were the most
industrial
Use the right word
industrialised
show examples
 consumers. They consume approximately half of the
water
Use synonyms
 for their intention.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other countries preferred to use
water
Use synonyms
 for industry, which was about 10%.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 using
water
Use synonyms
 for domestic
goal
Check wording
purposes
show examples
 was less than one in 10 in Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
, these figures
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 noted to be from 10% to 20% in Europe and South and South
America
Use synonyms
. All in all,
it is clear that
Linking Words
, most proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 was used for agriculture among the whole items. And industry acquired the second place.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia, america with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
What to do next:
Look at other essays: