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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows the average daily maximum temperatures for Auckland and Christchurch, two cities in New Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, two cities in the United Kingdom. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph below shows the average daily maximum temperatures for Auckland and Christchurch, two cities in New Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, two cities in the United Kingdom. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The provided line graph illustrates the average daily maximum
temperature
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, measured in degrees
Celcius
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Celsius
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 (
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C
Correct your spelling
°C
), in four distinct
cities
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 in New Zealand and the UK in a particular year.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, a pronounced trend is seen in both countries,
whereas
Linking Words
 Auckland and Christchurch experience a decline pattern and rebound to nearly their initial number,
while
Linking Words
 London and Edinburgh show the opposite. As shown in the figure,
initially
Linking Words
 in January, the average maximal
temperature
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 in two
cities
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 in New Zealand, namely Auckland and Christchurch, reports at about 25
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C
Correct your spelling
°C
 daily.
This
Linking Words
 figure records a gradual decline and drops to its lowest point by mid-year, ranging from 10 to 15. Afterwards, the weather in both
cities
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is
Verb problem
apply
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slowly becomes warmer, reaching
at
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apply
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approximately 20
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C
Correct your spelling
°C
 towards the end of the year.
Conversely
Linking Words
, starting with winter in the early year, at around 5
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C
Correct your spelling
°C
, the
temperature
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 in London and Edinburgh surges significantly to nearly 23
and
Check wording
°C and
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 18
, respectively
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°C, respectively
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
temperature
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 in both
cities
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 in the UK goes down and reverts to its starting number by December.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, c, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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