IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows the contribution of UK economy . Summarise the information.

The graph shows the contribution of UK economy . Summarise the information.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
 of three different expenditures in the United Kingdom
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1900 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, Business and Finances became the most popular expenditure
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 fell significantly over 100 years and became the least popular among
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
other expenditures.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Manufacturing
also
Linking Words
 declined as
Agriculture
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 1900, Business and
Finances
Fix the agreement mistake
finance
show examples
 only contributed around 3
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of
total the
Correct word order
the total
show examples
 UK economy.
Evidently
Add a comma
Evidently,
show examples
 in 50 years, it began to increase with almost 10
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
, and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
grew
Verb problem
to grow
show examples
 with more than 30
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the highest contributor
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the economy in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 19th century, and it grew
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than 54
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 over 50 years.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in 1975,
Agriculture
Use synonyms
plummed
Verb problem
plummeted
show examples
 to 10
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 and became less than 5
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 century.
Manufacturing
Correct article usage
The manufacturing
show examples
 sector
lose
Wrong verb form
lost
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 contribution throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, from more than 45
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in 1900 to less than 20
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, agriculture, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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