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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graphs illustrate the percentages of food and goods which bought in markets in 3 different European countries from 1988 and 2008. The data is given by a percentage

The graphs illustrate the percentages of food and goods which bought in markets in 3 different European countries from 1988 and 2008. The data is given by a percentage
Overall
Linking Words
,
Country
Use synonyms
 1 showed a higher rate in
goods
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
 3 represented the lowest rate among
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 countries In 1998,
Country
Use synonyms
 2 was the king of both units, 25 and 40 , respectively.
While
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
 1 showed almost 20 by purchasing
goods
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Rephrase
apply
show examples
food was twice less
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
goods
Use synonyms
, 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The proportion of
goods
Use synonyms
 bought in supermarkets in
Country
Use synonyms
 3 in 1998
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
around 10% was roughly double that of food purchases, which stood at just 5%. By 2008, both fields had a
dramatically
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 growth .
Country
Use synonyms
 1 reached the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentages
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
across all sectors.
Goods
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 20% more
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
Use synonyms
goods depicted
Verb problem
showed
show examples
 60%.
Country
Use synonyms
 2 was way more than
Country
Use synonyms
 3 , 30 and 12 by food, 50 and 10 in
goods
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country, goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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