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Writing Samples
Band 4

The map below is of the the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned of the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and maek comparison where relevant.

The map below is of the the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned of the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and maek comparison where relevant.
From the
illustration
Add a comma
illustration,
show examples
 it can be said that
this
Linking Words
city
Use synonyms
 is an industrial place with a total of 65000 residents living in it.
Thus
Linking Words
, there are various
of
Change preposition
apply
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good sites to be chosen for new shops and markets. The first option is to put the store in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 rural area.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 can be a good idea for travellers,
this
Linking Words
 plan can be reconsidered for the
city
Use synonyms
 members. As they can face some hardships
going
Rephrase
when going
show examples
 near the borders to buy what they need.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is a waste of time and money to put it there.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the second choice is more reasonable. It is planned to be in the downtown, next to the populated areas. The
city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 is surrounded by factories
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can pollute the store;
However
Linking Words
, main roads
are crossing
Wrong verb form
cross
show examples
 it and accessing it is more convenient compared to the countryside.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a big gap between the number of people living
within
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 part of the
city
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, choosing the latter can be beneficial as it is more accessible.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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