IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The
given two
Correct word order
two given
show examples
 pie charts demonstrate the distribution of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in five different
age
Use synonyms
 groups, who visited Spain from the UK, over a 20-year period, from 1983
-
Change preposition
to
show examples
2003. In general, it is clear from the chart, the rate of visitors aged 34-54 was the dominant trend despite a substantial decrease
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 all trends were
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 up, with the exception of
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 group
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In 1983, the largest percentage was individuals who were aged 34-54, highlighting roughly 50% of the total.
25
Correct article usage
The 25
show examples
-34
age
Use synonyms
 group was the second dominant trend, accounting for 20%, followed closely by 55+
years
Use synonyms
, which represented 16%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
age
Use synonyms
 group
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 demonstrated 10%, whilst the lowest rate was
individuals
Change preposition
among individuals
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 between 16-24
years
Use synonyms
, at 4%. By 2003, individuals who were aged 25-54 dropped, respectively, by 15% and 8%, illustrating 35% for 34-54
years
Use synonyms
, and 12% for 25-54
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 details, the
last
Linking Words
 trends increased, respectively. 55+
years
Use synonyms
, with 26%, meanwhile, other trends illustrate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar details, accounting for 12% and 15%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • activities
  • working adults
  • increase
  • decrease
  • shift
  • balance
  • time
  • significant
  • household tasks
  • leisure
  • reflect
  • importance
  • education
  • personal development
  • stable
  • constant
  • development
  • focus
  • responsibilities
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