IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and graph show the categories of the workforce in London and the unemployment rate within three groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and graph show the categories of the workforce in London and the unemployment rate within three groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart and graph
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 the information about the sectors of the workforce in London and the unemployment rate within several groups.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the proportion of native
Londoners
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the highest
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 groups, the emloyees who
Non-English-speaking
Use the right word
non-English-speaking
show examples
people
Use synonyms
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 far higher than English-speaking
people
Use synonyms
.In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, English-speaking
people
Use synonyms
 had the largest unemployment rate from 1993 to 2003.Native
Londoners
Use synonyms
 experienced a fluctuation
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the percentage of
Non-English-speaking
Use the right word
non-English-speaking
show examples
people
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the lowest of the total. In 1993, English-speaking
people
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
doubled that
native
Change preposition
of native
show examples
Londoners
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the unemployment rate
that
Change preposition
among
show examples
 English-speaking
people
Use synonyms
 showed a dramatic
crush
Check wording
decline
show examples
, from 8% to 4%.The gap between native
Londoners
Use synonyms
 and English-speaking
people
Use synonyms
 narrowed moderately.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, native
Londoners
Use synonyms
 fluctuated dramatically during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Finally
Linking Words
, it accounted for 2%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
Non-English-speaking
Use the right word
non-English-speaking
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 declined gradually, from 3% to 2%.It was the least change in three categories. Looking more closely at the chart, the percentage of native
Londoners
Use synonyms
 had the greatest sector in different groups, followed by Non-English speaking
people
Use synonyms
 with 42%,
while
Linking Words
 English-speaking
people
Use synonyms
 had the lowest figure with
aapproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 8%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words londoners, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce categories
  • unemployment rate
  • trends
  • distribution
  • shift
  • sector
  • analyze
  • highlight
  • increase
  • decrease
  • compare
  • significant
  • observe
  • conclusion
  • summarize
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