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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts
compares
Correct subject-verb agreement
compare
show examples
 four types of citrus fruits and their exportation to
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 top countries in the year 2012. It is measured in
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Fix capitalization
States
show examples
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
 to deliver all the varieties of citrus fruits
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 Oranges, Lemons, Grapefruits, and others. Mexico produced the most
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of the 3
caterogies
Correct your spelling
categories
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
 for orange
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 it does not export at all. Orange was mostly harvested in South Africa, had above
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1000
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 transported out of the country, followed by Egypt with
approxiamately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 500
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
stated
Replace the word
States
show examples
 had the least, with about 400
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 sold out to other places. Mexico had the highest
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
 of Lemons and Other category with almost 500
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in each.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the United
states
Fix capitalization
States
show examples
 had nearly 200
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Lemmons
Use the right word
Lemons
show examples
 and Grapefruit. Turkey had the largest quantity of Grapefruit with about 400
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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