a comparison between reality shows and game shows watched by men, women, and four different age group.

The pie charts compare the proportion of males, females, and different
age
Use synonyms
groups who watched television programmes and
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
games in Australia.  
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest proportion of
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
reality
Use synonyms
programmes,
while
Linking Words
males and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the 45 and above
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
mostly prefer watching games.   In detail, in terms of gender
females
Punctuation problem
, females
show examples
spending time in front of
reality
Use synonyms
and game shows
reveals
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveal
show examples
approximately the same ratio
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
70% and 60%, respectively. And the percentage of men who
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
games compared to women
only
Verb problem
is only
show examples
1% more,
while
Linking Words
they comprise the lowest share among
reality
Use synonyms
show followers
Check wording
apply
show examples
group
Use synonyms
,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
up 35%.   Moving
further
Linking Words
,
reality
Use synonyms
show lovers reveal
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 by around 5% as their
age
Use synonyms
climbing
Replace the word
climbs
show examples
,
acconting
Correct your spelling
accounting
for 50% in the 16-24, 60% in the 25-34, 65% in the 35-44 and 70% in the 45+
group
Use synonyms
, respectively. For the individuals aged 35-44 who prefer
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
shows
this
Linking Words
figure
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
up 42%.
Also
Linking Words
, the share of game
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
watchers in the 16-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
at
Verb problem
is at
show examples
the
equal
Correct word choice
same
show examples
level
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
Use synonyms
reality
Change preposition
of reality
show examples
show
watcher
Fix the agreement mistake
watchers
show examples
teens
Check wording
apply
show examples
.

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task
Task work: give a clear main line at the start and one end. Try to use all the data from the charts and fix any wrong fact.
structure
Flow and link: use more linking words like first, then, also, but, so. Make one idea in each part so the reader can see the path.
strength
The essay uses data from the charts to make a point.
strength
There is a try to compare groups and ages.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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