IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Question: Write a letter to a company asking for a refund for something you bought from them online. In your letter: Describe the item you bought Outline what the problem is Explain why you want a refund You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request a refund
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the product that I purchased from your website
last
Linking Words
 week. Please allow me to elaborate.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I purchased
Dell
Correct article usage
a Dell
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yoga
Fix capitalization
Yoga
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laptop
Use synonyms
 from your online store, which was on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sale. I completed the
transcation
Correct your spelling
transaction
 with my credit card
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the reference number is 0000T0306br. To be honest, it arrived within 5 days.
However
Linking Words
 ,
coincidentely
Correct your spelling
coincidentally
, my aunt had gifted me the same
laptop
Use synonyms
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 ordered from your store. Now, I have two laptops in my hand and I will be
only using
Correct word order
using only
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 one at a time. Because of that, the extra
laptop
Use synonyms
 will be in vain. So, I would like to have my refund for the
laptop
Use synonyms
 that
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 purchased from your website. As , in the description it was mentioned that the product can be refunded
with in
Use the right word
within
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 14 days. So, I would expect my refund would be credited to my account. I am hoping to get a prompt response
for
Change preposition
from
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 you on
this
Linking Words
 matter. Your sincerely, Harshi

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task response
Make your letter clear to the point. Put the three main points in order: item, fault, refund. Start with Dear Sir or Madam, and end with Yours sincerely. Keep the tone polite and formal. Check spelling and use capital I.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link from one idea to the next. Use small link words like first, next, also, finally. Make each paragraph have one main idea.
task response
The letter states the aim to get a refund.
task response
There is a part that lists what was bought and when.
coherence and cohesion
There is some use of linking words.
The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refund policy
  • Non-functional
  • Defective
  • Misleading
  • Dissatisfaction
  • Return procedure
  • Order reference
  • Product specifications
  • Discrepancy
  • Consumer rights
  • Faulty
  • Merchandise
  • Warranty
  • Compensation
  • Online purchase
  • Transaction details
  • Customer service
  • Remedy action
  • Substandard
  • Item condition
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