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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts illustrate the proportion of population trends in Scotland in three different stages from 1940 to 2020. Overall,the ratio of birth and population growth is considered as a decreasing but it is vice versa for mortality.

The charts illustrate the proportion of population trends in Scotland in three different stages from 1940 to 2020. Overall,the ratio of birth and population growth is considered as a decreasing but it is vice versa for mortality.
The line chart compares the
population
Use synonyms
 pattern in Scotland in three stages
mainly
Punctuation problem
, mainly
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 by birth,
population
Use synonyms
 and the death rate, over the period of eighty years
ranging
Punctuation problem
, ranging
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 from 1940 to 2020. The figures are expressed in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the death rate accounted for the largest share.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of residents in Scotland stood
at
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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last
Linking Words
position
Check wording
place
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
toddlers
Check wording
toddlers'
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 data was at
peak
Correct pronoun usage
its peak
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 in 1940, and it surpassed others with approximately 2.5%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
scottish
Fix capitalization
Scottish
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 citizens reported slightly less than 1%
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the dead people were roughly 1.5%. In the following year, the chart for
population
Use synonyms
 and growth had reached their peak point by 1% and 2.1% respectively. After 1970, the data clearly
reveals
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveal
show examples
 the gradual decline in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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three stages, with slightly less than 1.5%. In 1990, the death and
scottish
Fix capitalization
Scottish
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 residents rate had reached
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same point with close to 0.5%. In 2020,
the Scotland had
Correct word order
Scotland had the
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 maximum number of dead
people
Punctuation problem
people,
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 followed by
new borns
Use the right word
newborns
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 and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 in terms of
population
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Ratio
  • Birth rate
  • Population growth
  • Mortality
  • Trend
  • Decreasing/increasing
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Family planning
  • Aging population
  • Longevity
  • Healthcare advancements
  • Demographic changes
  • Implications
  • Comparative analysis
  • Population structure
  • Societal values
  • Advancements
  • Evolving trends
  • Long-term impact
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