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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts above demonstrate the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of British
students
Use synonyms
 at one university in England who were able to speak languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to English in 2000 and 2010. There are six different categories
:
Punctuation problem
. Students
show examples
students
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 who do not speak any other
language
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 are shown in blue, German only is shown in grey, French only is shown in orange, Spanish only is shown in yellow, another
language
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 is shown in light blue, and two other languages are shown in green. By comparing the two pie charts, we can see that the
proportion
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 of people speaking Spanish and another
language
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 increased by about 5%. Those who spoke German only and two other languages remained stable. The
proportion
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 of
students
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 who spoke no other
language
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 decreased, as did the
proportion
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 of those speaking French only. In summary, it can be assumed that more
students
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 were influenced by Spanish and other
language
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 cultures, or that immigration may have occurred during
this
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 period.
Overall
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, people tended to speak more than one
language
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 compared to 2000, which represents a significant improvement.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, students, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • additional languages
  • proficiency
  • decade
  • trends in language learning
  • globalization
  • cultural shifts
  • inferred
  • shifted
  • popularity
  • decrease/increase in speakers
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