The chart below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

This
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report drives a pie chart which
illstrates
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illustrates
UK
people
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in university
that
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who
show examples
talk
Verb problem
speak
show examples
other
Correct word order
languages other
show examples
languages
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than
english
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English
show examples
in 2000 and 2010. A glance
look
Check wording
apply
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at the graph reveals, the
spanish
Fix capitalization
Spanish
show examples
language
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is the highest
precntage
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percentage
between
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among
show examples
the others. Not only is
this
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point clear, but
also
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the
people
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were
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
having
german
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German
show examples
language
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and having two
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
was steady. Notably,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
2000,
spanish
Fix capitalization
Spanish
show examples
was 30%.
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Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
the
french
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French
show examples
and another
language
Use synonyms
was the same 15%.
However
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,
the
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apply
show examples
german
Fix capitalization
German
show examples
and two other
languages
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
10%.
Additionally
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, the
people
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who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
having only
english
Fix capitalization
English
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were 20%. In 2010, the
spanish
Fix capitalization
Spanish
show examples
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
to 35%.
However
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
german
Fix capitalization
German
show examples
and two other
languages
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
steady at 10%.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the
french
Fix capitalization
French
show examples
and
people
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who have only
english
Fix capitalization
English
show examples
had decreased to 10%.
Moreover
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, the
people
Use synonyms
who
have
Verb problem
speak
show examples
another
language
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
rise
Replace the word
risen
show examples
to 20%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, languages, language with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • additional languages
  • proficiency
  • decade
  • trends in language learning
  • globalization
  • cultural shifts
  • inferred
  • shifted
  • popularity
  • decrease/increase in speakers
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