IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar charts shows the details the percentage of two types of television programmes, namely reality and game shows watched by males and females in different age groups in Australia.

This
Linking Words
 report
drives from
Verb problem
is based on
show examples
 a bar
charts
Fix the agreement mistake
chart
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 which illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of two
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of television programmes, namely
reality
Use synonyms
 and
game
Use synonyms
shows
Punctuation problem
shows,
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 watched by different
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
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 and ages in Australia.
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
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,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
reality
Use synonyms
 shows the females
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
However
Fix capitalization
however
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, in
game
Use synonyms
 shows the male was highest
proportion
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 fluctuated across
age
Use synonyms
groupes
Correct your spelling
groups
. Approximately 70% of women watched
reality
Use synonyms
 TV shows.
However
Linking Words
, around 35% of
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 watched
reality
Use synonyms
 shows, the
age
Use synonyms
 between 16-24 was approximately 50%,
also
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 25-34
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 around 60%,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
 35-44 was around 65%,
Moreover
Linking Words
, the highest
age
Use synonyms
 was
45+
Punctuation problem
45+,
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 it was approximately 70%. Almost 62% of
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 watched
game
Use synonyms
 TV shows.
In addition
Linking Words
, around 60% of
womens
Correct your spelling
women
 watched
game
Use synonyms
 shows, the
age
Use synonyms
 between 16-24 was the same
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
reality
Use synonyms
 shows.
However
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
 of 25-34 had decreased to approximately 38%,
also
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 35-44 had declined to around 40%
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 the
age
Use synonyms
 45+ was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, in addition, moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, reality, game, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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