IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph shows Paris Metro station passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows Paris Metro station passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates key information about passengers in the Paris Metro station. The units are measured in
numbers
Check wording
terms
show examples
 of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that it began to grow significantly.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the middle of the figure, it shows remaining unstable.
Whereas
Linking Words
 by the end of the period had almost the same number as at the beginning.
According to
Linking Words
 6 to 8, shows the highest number of
folk
Check wording
people
show examples
 who went to the station at nearly 420
society
Check wording
people
show examples
, after that , from 8 to 10, shows a rapid decline to almost 190
bodies
Check wording
people
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 the line started staying the same until 14:00 , about 300 families. In terms of at 16:00 was the lowest number of community at 90.
Next,
Linking Words
the line shows an increase fast.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: