IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. Write a letter to the director of the Museum

Dear Director, My name is Lakshan
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I got my summer break
last
Linking Words
 week
Punctuation problem
. and
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and it
Correct word choice
It
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was start
Wrong verb form
started
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 in 22th of October
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will be over in
next year January
Correct word order
January next year
show examples
. I have finished
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research regarding
history
Correct article usage
the history
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 of museums all around the country and gained a lot of knowledge and experience during that time period. I
strongely
Correct your spelling
strongly
 believe
, experience
Correct word order
that, experience
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that
Correct word order
apply
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 gained before will help me to work in
City
Correct article usage
the City
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 Museum shop.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I have seen the advertisement in the newspaper
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I
strongely
Correct your spelling
strongly
 believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the most suitable job and will
gives
Wrong verb form
give
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 me
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 chance to gain my knowledge
while
Linking Words
 working
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
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 shop. I'll attach
research
Correct article usage
a research
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perposal
Correct your spelling
proposal
 to you to understand my knowledge and work that
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 have done before
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
also
Rephrase
as
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a CV as well
Correct word order
well as a CV
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. Yours faithfully, Lakshan

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task response
Be clear on the exact job you want and how you can help. Say two skills or tasks you can do well. Tell when you can start.
coherence cohesion
Split the note into 2 or 3 small parts. Put one idea in each paragraph. Use simple connectors like and, also.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use I for yourself. Fix words like 22nd, started, strongly, proposal, City.
form
Polite tone and good closing.
content
Shows clear wish to work in the shop.
content
Reader can sense your goal.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • application
  • customer service
  • retail experience
  • enthusiastic
  • availability
  • position
  • skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • learn
  • offerings
  • communication
What to do next:
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