IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter -thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience -explain what you hope to learn from the work experience -ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

Dear Sir or Madam I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I am writing to express my ambition
of
Change preposition
for
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 my internship
fir
Use the right word
for
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next
Correct article usage
the next
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 three
in
Check wording
months in
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this
Linking Words
 great company. First of all, I really appreciate that you
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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 me
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
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 great opportunity to work in
this
Linking Words
 outstanding company,
this
Linking Words
 is a significant progress for me to
initialize
Verb problem
initiate
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 my career. I wish I could do my best to create good performance
on working
Change preposition
at work
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 and learn more skills of construction management from
this
Linking Words
 experience.
Besides
Linking Words
, I do have a question about what I am going to do once I start my work,
such
Linking Words
 as what kind of project I will be involved
?
Change preposition
in?
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 Or how often
I should
Correct word order
should I
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 go to the site? It will be helpful for me to know more details of these wonderings. Again, I appreciate a lot for
this
Linking Words
 opportunity, thank you for considering my skills, hope to hear from soon. Yours sincerely Chris Lin

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structure
Split the letter into clear parts. Put one idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Fix big grammar mistakes and word form. For example, 'fir' should be 'for', 'three months', 'on site'.
content
Be clear on what you want to learn and put it in one or two lines.
tone
Keep a warm and formal tone throughout the letter.
tone
Polite start and end to the letter.
content
Shows a wish to learn more skills.
structure
Some link words help flow.
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