IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Science tells us that some activities are good for our health while some others are bad. Dispite knowing that millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change it

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Introduction
In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
Linking Words
thus
Use the right word
this
show examples
 problem can be
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 of
lacking
Wrong verb form
a lack of
show examples
 knowledge about
awarehess
Correct your spelling
awareness
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
unhealthy
Change preposition
of unhealthy
show examples
 activities. And
also
Linking Words
 we can say that lacking willpower even
people
Use synonyms
 can
undesrtand
Correct your spelling
understand
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
Linking Words
Change preposition
of this
show examples
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 tasks. In some
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
show examples
 their culture might
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lead to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 harmful activities
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 special traditional foods
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 in Mexico or in
India
Punctuation problem
India,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 eat mostly very spicy meals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 failure to observe hygienic rules.
Body
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 there is
widespread
Correct article usage
a widespread
show examples
 cause is stress. Because of
this
Linking Words
when
Punctuation problem
, when
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 feel stress
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 after some bad
situtations
Correct your spelling
situations
 in
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 they want
forget
Verb problem
to forget
show examples
 about
this
Linking Words
 and a little distraction by doing unhealthy activities like drinking alcohol or consuming narcotics.
Conclusion
To
preventive
Replace the word
prevent
show examples
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of problems
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 should receive more information about
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 healthy lifestyle and
also
Linking Words
 about
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
consequentces
Correct your spelling
consequences
 to
Correct article usage
the organizm
show examples
organizm
Correct your spelling
organism
. It can be
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 by
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 or TV, especially
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
instagram
Fix capitalization
Instagram
show examples
.

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structure
Plan your answer first. Put one main idea in each paragraph and end with a short finish.
language
Check spelling and form. Use simple words and fix common errors.
coherence
Use clear links to show flow, like first, next, also, but, so.
idea
You discuss many reasons and a plan to fix it.
coherence
You use some linking words to show flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • habitual behavior
  • addiction
  • public awareness campaign
  • cultural norm
  • social influence
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • economic disparity
  • coping mechanisms
  • long-term consequences
  • immediate gratification
  • marketing strategies
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • health education
  • preventative measures
  • behavioral change
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