IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that earning a high
salary
Use synonyms
 is more important than being satisfied with one
job
Use synonyms
. It is a widely discussed topic all around the world. I strongly disagree with the given statement, because
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction plays a more crucial role in long-term happiness and
overall
Linking Words
 well-being. On the one hand, a big
salary
Use synonyms
 can make life more comfortable and
elated
Correct word choice
enjoyable
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 with high incomes can afford better housing, healthcare, education and entertainment easily.
Money
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 reduces financial stress and provides security for a better future.
For example
Linking Words
, the individuals who earn well can save
money
Use synonyms
 for emergencies and help their relatives in terrible situations.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is
considerable
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why many
people
Use synonyms
 consider
salary
Use synonyms
 a top priority when they choose a career.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is far more essential than
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 spend a large part of their lives
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work. If they dislike their jobs, they may feel stressed, frustrated and unmotivated every day. Over time,
this
Linking Words
 can lead to serious mental and
health
Correct word choice
physical health
show examples
 problems, because they do not have interest in their jobs.
In contrast
Linking Words
, individuals who choose a career
according to
Linking Words
 their
interesting
Replace the word
interests
show examples
 field, they feel excited and motivated.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a
job
Use synonyms
 provides
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 benefits for employees. When
people
Use synonyms
 are passionate about their work, they are more productive and creative.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my country, Pakistan, many parents force their children to develop
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in fields like science and computing, because many
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 provide beneficial income. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 a high
salary
Use synonyms
 provides comfort and security, I believe that
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is more important because it ensures happiness, motivation and long-term success.
Money
Use synonyms
 is necessary in life, but it cannot replace the value of enjoying one’s work.

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task
State your view at the start and keep it in all parts of the essay.
task
Add more clear points that directly answer the question.
coherence
Use simple links to show how ideas go together: and, but, because, so.
coherence
Plan in this order: view, reason, example, result, and end with the restated view.
language
Check grammar and form of verbs and nouns in some lines.
strength
You show a clear view against the idea.
strength
You use an example from daily life in your country.
structure
The essay is easy to read and has clear paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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