IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree ? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

It is often that it is more advantageous to choose a
job
Use synonyms
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 wage even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is much more important than
salary
Use synonyms
. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 I think
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is much more important than how much you earn. If you just think about how much your
budjemnt
Correct your spelling
budget
 in your account
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
show examples
your
Change preposition
of your
show examples
 production
you
Punctuation problem
, you
show examples
 will not trust to save your place
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where you work. You can't give good service
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
your
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 place you work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
if you just think about money. For
telling
Verb problem
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 I know one of my relatives
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 just
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 about
salary
Use synonyms
 after high school
he
Punctuation problem
. He
show examples
choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
 a
specialization
Change the spelling
specialisation
show examples
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 when he
graduated
Punctuation problem
graduated,
show examples
 would give him the
hughest
Correct your spelling
highest
salary
Use synonyms
 after he
employ
Wrong verb form
employed
show examples
he
Punctuation problem
, he
show examples
relaized
Correct your spelling
realised
 that
isn't
Verb problem
it wasn't
show examples
 his place. So you must choose
satisfacted
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 any other thing.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more important than
salary
Use synonyms
 because feeling fulfilled at work leads to long-term happiness and motivation. When people enjoy their jobs, they are more productive and less likely to feel stressed or burned out.
For example
Linking Words
, a teacher who loves helping students may feel happier than someone who earns more money but dislikes their
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, choosing a
job
Use synonyms
 that brings
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial for a person’s well-being than choosing one based only on
salary
Use synonyms
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 being creative and fulfilled at your
job
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial than
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 because it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 people happy and more creative.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a clear view, then add two ideas and a close.
language
Use simple and correct words. Check spelling and grammar so your point is easy to read.
content
Add more detail or more examples to back each idea.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, like for example, also, but, then.
function
Clear stance that you do not want wage to be the only aim.
content
Two main ideas are seen: job feel and how it links to happiness.
content
Some good examples are used to show your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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