IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 different types of fast food in Britain from 1970 to 1990. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the expenditure of three
verity
Check wording
varieties
show examples
 of fast food
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as hamburgers,
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 and pizzas
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 Britain from 1970 to 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 consumption had a big
increase
Punctuation problem
increase,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 pizza had a huge drop. Beginning of the period use of
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 was only 50
grams
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 coming
Use synonyms
year
Punctuation problem
year,
show examples
had
Verb problem
there was
show examples
 a
slightly
Replace the word
slight
show examples
 increase and when it comes
to
Change preposition
By
show examples
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
show examples
 it was 100
grams
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
after
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 it continued the same
1985
Change preposition
until 1985
show examples
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990
Add a comma
1990,
show examples
 the utilisation of
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 had a big rose
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 300.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 pizza had a big drop
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
year
Use synonyms
. The consumption started
300
Change preposition
at 300
show examples
grams
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 of 1970 and slightly decreased
coming
Correct word choice
in the following
show examples
 years.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 were consumed from 100
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1970 and steadily
reached in
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 to 500 in the
year
Use synonyms
 of 1990.
To conclude
Linking Words
Linking Words
according
Punctuation problem
, according
show examples
 to the data
Use synonyms
fish
Punctuation problem
, fish
show examples
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 consumption
than
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the other two.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, chips, grams, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rise
  • grow
  • increase
  • go up
  • climb
  • steady
  • sharp
  • rise steadily
  • fall
  • decrease
  • drop
  • remain
  • stay
  • level off
  • peak
  • high
  • low
  • be higher than
  • be lower than
  • in the end
  • at the start
  • over the period
  • by 1990
  • from 1970 to 1990
  • more than
  • less than
  • compare
  • contrast
  • the most
  • the least
  • overall
  • during the period
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