IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. ‘Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following diagram shows the steps and materials used in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cement
Use synonyms
 and concrete production.
Overall
Linking Words
, during the
cement
Use synonyms
 production, all of the materials have to be mixed and heated
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In terms of concrete, all of the ingredients are poured into the concrete mixer, resulting in concrete.
First,
Linking Words
a crusher is used to squash limestone and clay into powder.
Then
Linking Words
 the mixture will be heated in the rotating heater before flowing down into the
grinder
Punctuation problem
grinder,
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 where the mixture becomes
cement
Use synonyms
. After all these steps, the ready-mixed
cement
Use synonyms
 is bagged. In terms of concrete production, 15% of
cement
Use synonyms
 powder, 10% of water, 25% of sand, and 50% of gravel are put into the concrete mixer. The result of
this
Linking Words
 procedure is concrete ready to be used.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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