Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. this practice can act as an incentive for some, but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

Some companies give bounce to some
employees
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for
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thier
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their
outstanding performance.
While
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this
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system can
motevates
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motivate
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some staff, it may
also
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can
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apply
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create problems in
workplace
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the workplace
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. In my
openion
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opinion
, financial
rewards
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are useful
but
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, but
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other methods can be more
effictive
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effective
.
Firstly
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, financial
rewards
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can strongly motivate
workers
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. When
employees
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knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
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that
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thier
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their
hard work will be rewarded,
then
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they tend to increase
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thier
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their
efforts and productivity.
For example
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, staff may work longer or complete tasks faster in order to
recieve bounuses
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receive bonuses
.
Secondly
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, extra money can bond
workers
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and make them more loyal to the company. When
employees
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recive
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receive
financial
rewards
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, they tend to feel respected and appreciated.
For example
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, the rewars has sentemental values that make the
workers
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tend to keep
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thier
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their
jobs and
beeing
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be
loyal to the company. In a recently published paper, the authors
founed
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found
that
workers
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who
recieved
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received
extra money for
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thier
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their
great performance
lasts more
Wrong verb form
lasted longer
show examples
in
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thier
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their
companies and developed more loyalty that who did not
recieve
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receive
anything.
However
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,
this
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management style can
also
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have negative consequences. Rewarding only some
workers
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can create unhealthy
competetion
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competition
among
workers
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.
As a result
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, teamwork may decrease because
employees
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focus only on individual
rewards
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. There are
also
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more
effictive
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effective
ways to encourage
employees
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. Providing promotions
professional
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, professional
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training, and public recognition can motivate
workers
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more effictivly that financial
rewards
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only. These methods improve job satisfaction and loyalty to the company. In conclusion,
although
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financial
rewards
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can increase motivation, they may
also
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lead to competition and dissatisfaction among
employees
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.
Therefore
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, companies should combine money
rewards
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and other methods to encourage
employees
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.

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task response
Answer both questions more fully. Say more clearly how effective money rewards are, and why other ways may be better.
task response
Give one or two more clear and real examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Develop each main point a bit more. Some ideas are good, but they stop too soon.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. To make it better, link ideas more smoothly between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of word form and grammar mistakes. Use shorter and clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'However', and 'Therefore' help, but do not use them too much.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion clearly in the first paragraph.
task response
You discussed both the good side and the bad side of money rewards.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words to guide the reader through your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reward
  • bonus
  • extra pay
  • hard work
  • effort
  • result
  • goal
  • fair
  • unfair
  • team spirit
  • competition
  • cooperation
  • motivation
  • encourage
  • staff
  • employee
  • employer
  • manager
  • praise
  • promotion
  • training
  • flexible hours
  • work environment
  • job satisfaction
  • loyalty
  • performance
  • exceptional contribution
  • clear rules
  • short-term results
  • balanced approach
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