IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors in a particular country from 1978 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line
ghraph
Correct your spelling
graph
 shows the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of cinema visitors
in
Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 country in four
age
Use synonyms
 groups from 1978 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the 14-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 during the period,
while
Linking Words
 the 50+
group
Use synonyms
 had the lowest figure at the beginning. All
age
Use synonyms
 groups fell in 1988, but most of them went up again after that. In 1978, they was decreased
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people aged 14-24 wa 90% in 1988 before rising to 90% in 1998. After that. It stayed almost the same in 2003 and
then
Linking Words
 fell to 80% I'm 2008. For the 25-34
group
Use synonyms
, the figure went down from 80% in 1978 to 60% in 1988. It
then
Linking Words
 increased to 70% in 1998 and stayed at
this
Linking Words
 level in 2003 before falling slightly to 65% in 2008. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 for the 35-49
group
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 fell from 60% to 40% between 1978 and 1988,
then
Linking Words
 rose to just over 60% in 1998 and 2003, before dropping to 50% in 2008.
Finally
Linking Words
, the 50+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 started at 40% in 1978 and fell to 20% in 1988. After that, it increased to 40 % in 1998 and 2003, and
then
Linking Words
 rose again to 50% in 2008.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: