The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of British students at one university in England who
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
other
languages
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, moreover
show examples
moreover to
Change preposition
besides
show examples
English, from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that no other
language
Use synonyms
was
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
popular throughout the period. Two other
languages
Use synonyms
and another
language
Use synonyms
increased by 5%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
German
Correct article usage
the German
show examples
language
Use synonyms
was stable.At the beginning, in 2000,
Only english
Correct your spelling
only English
speakers
Use synonyms
had the
most biggest
Replace the word
largest
proportion among other
languages
Use synonyms
. After that
Spanish
Punctuation problem
, Spanish
show examples
speakers
Use synonyms
occupies 20%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
German
Correct article usage
the German
show examples
language
Use synonyms
and
Two
Fix capitalization
two
show examples
other
languages
Use synonyms
were the least popular.
In addition
Linking Words
, French
speakers
Use synonyms
and Another
language
Use synonyms
had the same proportion.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of students who spoke French dropped from 15% to 10% during the same period. In comparison, both the share of German
speakers
Use synonyms
and those capable of speaking two other
languages
Use synonyms
remained constant at 10%. Collectively, these changes highlight a growing tendency among British students toward multilingual competence, with Spanish maintaining its lead and broader
language
Use synonyms
diversity becoming increasingly common.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, language, speakers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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