The line graph below shows the number of participants in five different activities at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia, from 2000 to 2020. The activities are: Film club Martial arts Amateur dramatics Table tennis Musical performances The figures are given for the years 2000, 2005, 2010, 2015, and 2020. Approximate data: Film club: 64, 62, 60, 64, 66 Martial arts: 36, 32, 38, 34, 36 Amateur dramatics: 25, 28, 20, 14, 6 Table tennis: 16, 20, 20, 35, 54 Musical performances: 0, 0, 12, 16, 18 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where

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The graph illustrates the number of
participants
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for several activities at the social
club
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in Melbourne between 2000
to
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and
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2020.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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film
Correct article usage
the film
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club
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was the most popular activity over the
period
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,
while
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martial arts fluctuated only slightly , table tennis sharply increased throughout the
period
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Linking Words
in
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; in
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contrast, amateur dramatics had fallen. In 2000, the largest number of
participants
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were in
film
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the film
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club
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and Martial arts,
film
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with the film club having
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club
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with around 65
of
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apply
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members Followed by Martial arts with approximately 35.
However
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,
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this
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these
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two activities fluctuated only slightly over the
period
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.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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the activities
showed
Correct pronoun usage
that showed
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significant change were the table tennis , amateur dramatics and the musical performance. At the beginning of the
period
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table
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, table
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tennis had below 20
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participants
Punctuation problem
participants,
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then
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rose sharply
near
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apply
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to
55
Rephrase
nearly 55
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by 2020 .
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while
Fix capitalization
While
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amateur dramatics
start
Wrong verb form
started
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at above 20 members
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then
Punctuation problem
, then
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dropped down nearly 5 by 2020.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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musical performances start with zero
participants
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at the beginning of the
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period
Punctuation problem
period,
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then
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it is
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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steadily increased around 15 by 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, club, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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