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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of participants in five different activities at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia, from 2000 to 2020. The activities are: Film club Martial arts Amateur dramatics Table tennis Musical performances The figures are given for the years 2000, 2005, 2010, 2015, and 2020. Approximate data: Film club: 64, 62, 60, 64, 66 Martial arts: 36, 32, 38, 34, 36 Amateur dramatics: 25, 28, 20, 14, 6 Table tennis: 16, 20, 20, 35, 54 Musical performances: 0, 0, 12, 16, 18 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where

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The line graph shows the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 in five
activities
Use synonyms
 at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia, from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
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, the film club remained the most popular activity throughout the
period
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,
while
Linking Words
 martial arts changed only slightly.
By contrast
Linking Words
, table tennis rose markedly and became one of the most popular
activities
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 by the end of the
period
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 amateur dramatics declined sharply. Musical performances
also
Linking Words
 increased after starting at zero. In 2000, the film club had the highest number of
participants
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, at around 65,
while
Linking Words
 martial arts ranked second with just under 30.
Although
Linking Words
 both
activities
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 fluctuated over the
period
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, their figures changed only slightly
overall
Linking Words
. The other three
activities
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 showed more noticeable changes. Amateur dramatics started at just over 20
participants
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, which was slightly higher than table tennis
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 just under 20.
However
Linking Words
, by 2020, table tennis had climbed dramatically to about 55
participants
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,
while
Linking Words
 amateur dramatics had fallen to fewer than 10. Musical performances, which had no
participants
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 at the beginning, rose steadily to around 20 by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, activities, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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