IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The bar chart demonstrates three different sectors(
Agriculture
Use synonyms
, Industry and
services
Fix capitalization
Services
show examples
) contributing to the GDP of
India
Use synonyms
 over
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 of 40 years from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, both services and industries had an upward trend.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 figure showed a downward
tendency
Check wording
trend
show examples
 for
agriculture
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, services had the
second lowest
Correct your spelling
second-lowest
 proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the contribution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 growth in
India
Use synonyms
 by approximately 16%.
However
Linking Words
, it increased gradually
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 1980 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
about 27%.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it surged dramatically from 1980 to 2000 of 27% to 64% ,
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
 had a modest rise in the first two decades, where it stopped in 1980
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 roughly 25% and remained stable over time.
India
Use synonyms
 was relying on
agriculture
Use synonyms
 in the
sixtees
Correct your spelling
sixties
 as it made up approximately 64% of
it
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
 gross domestic product.
However
Linking Words
, the chart illustrated dramitical decline in the trend from 64% to 13% over
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
 years. By the end,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 became the smallest sector contributing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
India
Use synonyms
's growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, india with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: