IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table provides a comparison of the expenditure rate of the government on education and training and participation rate of 18-24 year olds in the same in five nations in the year 2002.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The table illustrates the spending
rate
Use synonyms
 of the government on education and training, and
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
 the
participation
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 of 18-24 year old individuals in five different countries of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 in the year 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that Slovenia had the highest expenditure
rate
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Poland
Use synonyms
 had
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 contributions.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Poland
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest proportion of
participation
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Romania had
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
individuals
Check wording
number of individuals
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the expenditure
rate
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Poland
Use synonyms
 in 2002 was only 5%, which makes
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
 the lowest
nation
Check wording
apply
show examples
among all five countries.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by
Czech
Correct article usage
the Czech
show examples
 Republic at 9% spending
rate
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, Romania and Hungary had 10% and 13% respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Slovenia had
topmost
Correct article usage
the topmost
show examples
 contribution with 25% expenses, which makes them highest among all countries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
participation
Correct article usage
the participation
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Poland
Use synonyms
 in 2002 was 44%,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means their teenagers spend most of their time in their education and training.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
Czech
Correct article usage
the Czech
show examples
 Republic had 27%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 Romania contributed 23% in both sectors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Hungary
also
Linking Words
 had great contributions in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 and training field with 34%
participation
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
. Slovenia comes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 second place regarding
participation
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 40% involvement in both fields.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, participation, poland with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: