IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter remind him when and where you met tell him what kind of job you are interested in say why you think you would be suitable for the job

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Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in good health. My name is Anum, and I met you
last
Linking Words
 Sunday on
PIA
Correct article usage
a PIA
show examples
 flight from Karachi to Lahore. If you could recall, we sat next to each other and talked about your restaurant in Lahore. You told me to contact you if I need a job in future. I am new in
lahore
Fix capitalization
Lahore
show examples
 and searching for a suitable job for me. I am interested
to work
Change preposition
in working
show examples
 at your restaurant. As I told you earlier, I am a chef by profession
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I have worked in one of the top
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 in Karachi. I
also
Linking Words
 have a YouTube channel of my own where I share my different recipes. I am a dedicated and hardworking person, and I am certain that I will not let you down. My past work experience in top restaurants, and my interest in culinary arts makes me a suitable person for
this
Linking Words
 job. I have
also
Linking Words
 attached my CV for your reference. Looking forward to a positive response Sincerely, Anum

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a bit more about the exact job you want.
task response
Task response: Use a more polite tone, like 'I would be grateful if you could consider me'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are clear, but some lines can link better with words like 'also' and 'because'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check small word form and name errors, like 'Lahore' and 'restaurant'.
task response
Task response: You cover when and where you met, the job, and why you fit the job.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chain of restaurants
  • potential job opportunity
  • relevant experience
  • managerial role
  • customer service
  • qualifications
  • certifications
  • unique skills
  • eagerness
  • admiration
  • resume
  • references
  • face-to-face meeting
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