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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie chart below shows bottled water consumption in various regions as a percent of global consumption and the bar-chart shows the growth of bottled water consumption in 2001 (only bar chart with 5 countries)

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The graph compares the
proportion
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 of bottled
water
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consumption
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 from 1999 to 2001 in eight
countries
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, namely Western
Europe
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,
Australia
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, the Middle East, Africa, Latin America, New Zealand and the USA.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 a bar chart gives information about the
proportion
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 of change in
water
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consumption
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest percentage of bottled
water
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 was consumed in Western
Europe
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 in 1999,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the lowest
proportion
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 of bottled
water
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 was consumed in
Australia
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 and Asia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is shown in the bar chart that 6
countries
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 are higher than the other two
countries
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. As the table shows, in 1999, the greatest
proportion
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 of bottled
water
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consumption
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 was in Western
Europe
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 compared to other
countries
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. Regarding bottled
water
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 spent for consume Middle East and Africa were relatively similar in 1999. Coming to the USA, it is about 15% higher than Latin America , which accounted for 10%. New Zealand was 13% bottled
water
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consumption
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. Asia and
Australia
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 were 2% the smallest
proportion
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 of than others. In 2001, Latin America and New Zealand were relatively similar , 12% in 2001. The Middle East and Africa
were
Correct pronoun usage
, which were
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 relatively
similar
Punctuation problem
similar,
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 accounted for 9% in 2001. USA and
Australia
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's bottled
water
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consumption
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 were 6% and 7% in 2001, respectively. The smallest
proportion
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 of Western
Europe
Use synonyms
 was represented 3%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, water, consumption, countries, europe, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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