IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts give information about the average household consumption in Japan and Malaysia in five categories.

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The two given pie charts illustrate the average household
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
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 in Malaysia and
Japna
Correct your spelling
Japan
 in different sectors.
Overall
Linking Words
,
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 proportion
spent
Verb problem
is spent
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in
Change preposition
on
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health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and a tiny portion
in
Change preposition
on
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 transport. In comparison to Malaysia, housing takes a significant portion as other goods and services comes at second. In
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize the proper name
Japan
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, citizens use
their
Correct determiner usage
a
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 major part of
the
Correct article usage
their
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 money
in
Change preposition
on
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health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
around
Punctuation problem
, around
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 to 29%. Followed by housing was account to 24%
less
Punctuation problem
, less
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 than 5%
compared
Punctuation problem
, compared
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 to
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
. In the case of other goods and
services
Punctuation problem
services,
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made up of almost a quarter
Correct word order
almost a quarter is made up of
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. 20 percent fund allocated for public transport. As for Malaysia, other goods and
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
 expenses was 34%. Cash spent on food was 27% and increased slightly
as
Correct word choice
apply
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compared to
Japan
Use synonyms
. 26% currency
kept
Verb problem
is kept
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 for
health
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care
Use synonyms
 services
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 the figure
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
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 by 3%
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize the proper name
Japan
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. Transport stands at 10% lower than
Use synonyms
Japan
Change preposition
in Japan
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words health, care, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average household consumption = the usual spending of a family
  • category = group
  • account for = make up
  • the largest share = the biggest part
  • the smallest proportion = the smallest part
  • higher than = more than
  • lower than = less than
  • slightly = a little
  • much larger = far bigger
  • stand at = be
  • respectively = in that order
  • compare = look at two things
  • figure = number
  • expense = spending
  • by contrast = when we look at the difference
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