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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie chart illustrates how
many
Correct determiner usage
much
show examples
water
Use synonyms
used
Verb problem
is used
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different purposes in six nations of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
was the most used
water
Use synonyms
 for the group,
while
Linking Words
 domestic was the lowest used for
water
Use synonyms
 by the figures areas. Europe and
north
Capitalize the proper name
North
show examples
 America were most used
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
,and
Check wording
purposes,and
show examples
 that accounted for 53% and 48% perspectively,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 agricultural were contrast of 39% and 32%. Followed by
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 the lowest figures in those areas
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 domestic by 19% and 15%.
The agricultural
Correct determiner usage
Agriculture
show examples
 was the largest share of South America, Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and
south east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
 accounted by 71%, 84%, 88% and 81% perspectively. Southe east
Asia
Use synonyms
 and
central
Capitalize the proper name
Central
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 remained stable by 7%,
while
Linking Words
 Africa numbered more them by 9%.
However
Linking Words
,
north
Capitalize the proper name
North
show examples
,
south
Capitalize the proper name
South
show examples
 America and Europe
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
used
water
Use synonyms
per
Change preposition
at
show examples
 percentages
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 accounted by 13%, 19%, and 15%. Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 used most of
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 for
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Europe
sued
Verb problem
used
show examples
 most of
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 for industrial
.
Check wording
purposes.
show examples

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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