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Writing Samples
Band 4

on The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two figures present the proportion of  eight industry sectors that
take part of
Verb problem
make up
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 the economy of Turkey. In two years, 2000 and
2016Overall
Punctuation problem
2016. Overall
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, it is evident that there are several changes in how  the different sects have been developing  in Turkey
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 Agriculture  and construction fall  considerably their  participation,
while
Linking Words
 Health care  and education remained  unchanged between both years
showed
Verb problem
apply
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. Agriculture, Health and Education were the largest shares in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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whereas
Linking Words
 in
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
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 the other sectors contributed more
in
Change preposition
to
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 the economy than in 2000.In
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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 the largest share was Agriculture, making up  almost a quarter
,
Punctuation problem
.
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  In 
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
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 it  fell to  only 14 %.
In contrast
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  In the first
year
Punctuation problem
year,
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 Healthcare and Education represented at 17%   remained unchanged sextee years
tears
Check wording
apply
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later. Lisue & hospitality and Government presented a similar pattern, 
feeling
Verb problem
falling
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 slightly from 17% to 14%. and from 12% to 9% respectively.The sector that  showed an increase,
first
Punctuation problem
first,
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 Trade. Utilities and Transportation and manufacturing rose from 14 % and 8 % to 18 and 12%
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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, increasing their participation substantially.  In the same way Business increased from 5 %
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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to just 8% in 2016. Another interesting change  was   Construction  activities, it  showed the same pattern,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 its increase  was
notably
Replace the word
notable
, starting at 3% in 2000 and ending at 10% in 2016.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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