IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Today we can see excessive consumption of natural resources such as air, fresh water, oil and so on. The usage is increasing at a very dangerous pace and is already reaching critical levels. What are the reasons contributing to this? What should be done to minimise the effects?

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Introduction
Due to
Linking Words
 global
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and industrial growth , we can see how natural resources
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 being in high need of consumption , which is
effecting
Use the right word
affecting
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 the earth , and
cousing
Correct your spelling
causing
 risks of high
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 more years it goes
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 more
seriuos
Correct your spelling
serious
 the danger is .
Body paragraph 1
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 active industrial world
that is
Linking Words
 growing, factoring , trading , and depending on natural
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
 for economic growth
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
increasing
Replace the word
increase in consumption
 of consumtion of the natural resources
becoming
Verb problem
is becoming
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enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
.
However
Linking Words
 , if it
will contineus
Wrong verb form
continues
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 way of consuming without planting in order to
damage
Verb problem
apply
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control the harm to our planet .
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
Linking Words
 , there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some easy helpful actions that
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to reduce the damage
for
Change preposition
to
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 our planet , and anyone can do
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
. Planting more ,and
make a
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 public transportation the way to go to ur daily destinations ,
instead
Linking Words
 of
every single one goes
Wrong verb form
everyone going
show examples
 by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Punctuation problem
car,
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 will help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the
ammount
Correct your spelling
amount
 of air
population
Check wording
pollution
show examples
.
Conclusion
In a world
that is
Linking Words
 full of unnecessary fake
need
Check wording
needs
show examples
, which
cuased
Correct your spelling
causes
 unnecessary waste , people of each community would teach each
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 how our globe is our responsibility to take care of . We cannot save the planet , but an aware
communities
Fix the agreement mistake
community
show examples
 could make a healthy
diifference
Correct your spelling
difference
.

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task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. Give main reasons for the high use of resources, such as more people, more cars, and more work in factories. Then give steps to cut the harm, such as clean power, less waste, and rules from the state.
task response
Make each main point fuller. Explain how factories use oil, water, and power, and why this harms air and water. Then say how each step can help.
task response
Use real and clear examples. For example, say that better buses and trains can mean fewer cars on roads, so there is less dirty air.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: first, an opening; next, one or two parts on reasons; then, one or two parts on what to do; last, a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Start each part with one clear main idea. Do not put many ideas in one long sentence. This will help the reader follow your point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'First', 'Also', 'For example', 'As a result', and 'In short' can show how your ideas join.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. Use 'natural resources', 'resource use', and 'harm to the earth' in a clear way. Do not change the point too fast.
task response
You give ideas about factory growth, cars, planting trees, and public transport. These are all linked to the topic.
task response
You show that people and groups can help, not only the state. This is a good part of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, body parts, and a final idea. You also use words like 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover' to move to a new point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural resource depletion
  • freshwater supplies
  • fossil fuel consumption
  • rapid population growth
  • rising living standards
  • consumer culture
  • throwaway society
  • industrial production
  • excessive waste
  • environmental regulations
  • strict enforcement
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy-efficient technology
  • water conservation
  • public awareness campaigns
  • recycling facilities
  • sustainable consumption
  • carbon emissions
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