IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You rent a flat from an accommodation agency. Your neighbour who rents their flat from the same agency plays very loud video games late at night. Write a letter to the accommodation agency. In your letter • explain when the problem began • describe how the noise affects you • say what you would like the agency to do Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, Lately i’ve been encountering some major problems regarding my neighbour, who
also
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 rents his flat from you. The issue started
since
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last
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 week and involves
on
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him making really loud noises late at night
while
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 he is probably playing
videogames
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video games
. The noise produced by him is hugely impacting
on
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my sleep schedule and quality, with me having problems
on
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falling asleep and
also
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 having multiple interruptions throughout the night, which is impacting my
overall
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 mood and disposition during the day. I reached the point in which
i
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I
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 had to visit a doctor in order to check
my
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the
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 headaches
that is
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 giving me through the day, caused mainly by my
low quality
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low-quality
 sleep. I would like to
kndly
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kindly
 request you to please message or phone the renter explaining how his behaviour is disturbing all
other
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the other
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of his
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neighbours and
also
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soliticiting
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soliciting
 him how we can come to a solution to
this
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 problem.

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task response
Say more clearly when the problem began, for example: “The problem began last week.” Also, ask the agency to take clear action, such as speaking to the neighbour and asking him to keep the noise down after a set time.
task response
Use a polite but firm tone. Avoid words like “probably”, because they make your point less clear. State what you know: loud game noise late at night.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: problem, effect, and request. Add a short closing, such as “I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully,” to make it complete.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentences shorter in the second paragraph. This will make the effects of the noise easier to read and understand.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words such as “As a result” and “Therefore” to show how the late-night noise causes poor sleep and headaches.
task response
You cover all the main points: when the issue began, how it affects you, and what you want the agency to do.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a main purpose, so the letter is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The opening is polite and suitable for a letter to an agency.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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