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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Six pie charts idicate about percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 which used for many purposes in some location.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 4
area which
Fix the agreement mistake
areas that
show examples
 have
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 percentage of
water
Use synonyms
which
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 for
Agricultural are
Replace the word
agriculture
South
Punctuation problem
: South
show examples
america
Capitalize the proper name
America
show examples
,
Africa
Use synonyms
, Central
Use synonyms
asia
Capitalize the proper name
Asia
show examples
, South east
asia
Use synonyms
.
That
Fix the agreement mistake
Those
show examples
 are 71% for South US, 84% for
Africa
Use synonyms
, 88% for Central
asia
Use synonyms
 and 81% for South east
asia
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 for
industrial
Replace the word
industry
 in
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
 US,
Africa
Use synonyms
 and Central
asia
Use synonyms
 are smaller
that
Use the right word
than
show examples
 domestic
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 19% and 10% for South
america
Capitalize the proper name
America
show examples
, 9% and 7% for
Africa
Use synonyms
, 7% and 5% for
central
Capitalize the proper name
Central Asia
show examples
asia
Use synonyms
. South east
asia
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 higher
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial than dometic with 7% for domestic and 12% for industrial.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 US and Europe
use
Use synonyms
 significantly
Use synonyms
water
Rephrase
more water
show examples
 for industrial
with
Check wording
purposes with
show examples
 48% and 53% which are
dometic figur
Correct your spelling
domestic figures
 in the circle.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
use
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural
which
Check wording
purposes, which
show examples
 are bigger than domestic
use
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 32% of
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial and 15% for domestic.
While
Linking Words
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 US
use
Use synonyms
 39% for Agricultural and 13% for domestic
use
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, africa, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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