In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

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Introduction
In the majority of countries, it is commonplace for
children
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attending primary and secondary schools to get a two-month holiday period or more in the
summer
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.
While
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some people are convinced that
this
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is necessary for
children
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's recreation and
wellbeing
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well-being
, others believe that
summer
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holidays
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should be shorter. The following paragraphs will delve into both sides of the argument.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, a
two-month long
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two-month-long
break can have tangible benefits for
children
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in many aspects of their
life
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lives
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.
Firstly
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, having a
summer
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break with sufficient
time
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allows
children
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to unwind and spend longer quality
time
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with their family and friends, which, in turn, can strengthen their relationships with their loved ones. Another benefit is that it provides them
an
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with an
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opportunity to discover their passions and interests and to find their own path. If it were not for
summer
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holidays
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,
childrenwould
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children would
never have
time
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to explore other enjoyable hobbies and activities outside their learning environment.
Last
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, but not least, during extended school
holidays
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, they can go on long vacations, explore different places, take up new challenges, and learn diverse cultures and traditions there, which can improve their self-confidence
as well as
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their awareness of diversity.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, these extended
holidays
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can do more harm than good if not well-spent. Most importantly,
children
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can lose track of their learning journey and might stray too far away from their school life by getting their nose down in other, less important pursuits
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such
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, such
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as playing video games, given the fact that the
holidays
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are too long.
Moreover
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,
this
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can place a great strain on some families, especially for working parents who cannot devote their
time
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to looking after their
childrenfor
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children for
too long.
Were
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If
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the
holidays
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to be
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were
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shorter, it would definitely reduce the workload of parents during the
summer
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.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
while
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there are lots of advantages for
children
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to have longer
holidays
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, it is undeniable that it can
also
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lead to some risky situations for not only
children
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but
also
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parents.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why a long break is valuable, not only why it is enjoyable. For example, say how rest can help children return to school ready to learn.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some need more support. The point about children losing touch with learning is useful; add how a shorter break could help, such as by giving more regular school time and less lost learning.
task response
Use one or two clear real-life examples. For instance, a child may join a sports group, visit family, or read during a long break. A working parent may need to pay for child care during a very long break.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-paragraph plan is easy to follow: opening, value of long breaks, case for shorter breaks, and ending. Keep this clear plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. Instead of only listing points with “Firstly”, “Another benefit”, and “Last, but not least”, show the link between them. For example: “As well as rest, a long break gives children time to try new things.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending more direct. Sum up the main value of long breaks and the main reason for shorter ones, then state your view if you have one. This will make the final paragraph feel more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word-spacing errors, such as “childrenwould” and “childrenfor”. These can make the writing less easy to read.
task response
You cover the value of long holidays through rest, family time, new interests, travel, and learning about other people.
task response
You give clear reasons for shorter holidays, especially lost learning time and the added pressure on working parents.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one clear main side of the discussion, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
The use of signposts such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps show the two sides clearly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
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