IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are a member of an organisation which meets regularly at a particular restaurant. The most recent meal you had there was not satisfactory. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter explain why you are writing describe what went wrong with the meal and service suggest what the manager should do to ensure that you and your group return to the restaurant

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my recent meal at your restaurant, which was really a bad experience.
This
Linking Words
 has a negative impact on my imagination of your restaurant. The major issue was the meal, which was really salty and oily, which made it difficult for me to eat it, as I am suffering from high blood pressure, and the inappropriate amount of salt can be dangerous for me.
Moreover
Linking Words
, your staff perform their tasks very slowly, which rested in taking a long time to order and prepare the meal,
consequently
Linking Words
 making me anxious as I was very hungry. I would suggest that you take appropriate action to address these issues, which can negatively affect on your reputation.
In addition
Linking Words
, you can
also
Linking Words
 employ more staff in order to serve customers more efficiently and rapidly. Another possible way to improve your services is that you can consider health recommendations to regulate the amount of salt and oil in foods. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Mohammadreza Hadavi Bavil

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Say clearly that your group meets at this restaurant often. Also, ask for a clear action, such as better food checks and faster service for your next group meal.
task response
Give one or two more clear facts, such as the date, the dish, how long you waited, and how many people were in your group. This will help the manager understand the problem.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Make the links between ideas more natural. Do not use “which” many times in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each main point in its own paragraph: why you write, food problem, service problem, and what you want the manager to do.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice in a few places. For example, use “this changed my view of your restaurant”, “staff worked slowly”, and “resulted in a long wait”.
task response
You explain both the food problem and the slow service, and you give useful ideas for change.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite, and the letter is easy to follow from the problem to your suggested steps.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: