IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

5.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
given two
Correct word order
two given
show examples
 pie charts illustrates about total world
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption and
Electricity
Use synonyms
 generation from 2025.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
, oil
is accounted
Wrong verb form
accounts
show examples
 for
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 percentage
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 others
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the lowest percentage in
energy
Use synonyms
consumpotion
Correct your spelling
consumption
. used more
amount
Check wording
apply
show examples
coal to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of oil used more
amount of
Check wording
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 of 34.3% around the
world
Check wording
world's total energy consumption
show examples
. coal listed second on
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 25.1%
energy
Use synonyms
 used in coal production. Gas and combustible renewables & waste both
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 almost 10% difference at 20.9% and 10.6% respectively. Hydro production used only 2.2% of
energy
Use synonyms
 worldwide
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 others used
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 amount of 0.4%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, 39.8%
electricity
Use synonyms
produce
Wrong verb form
is produced
show examples
 by coal around the world. Both Nuclear and Hydro used similar
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 of 15.7% and 16.1% respectveily. used gas in
electricity
Use synonyms
 generation
almost
Punctuation problem
, almost
show examples
 19.6%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 process
oil
Punctuation problem
, oil
show examples
 usage was only 6.7%. At
Linking Words
last
Punctuation problem
last,
show examples
 other items used 2.1 % in
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
 process.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, electricity with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • age range
  • charitable organisations
  • fluctuates
  • notable changes
  • participation
  • considerable decrease
  • contrast
  • consistent increase
  • middle age groups
  • peak
  • notable drop
  • shift
  • financial priorities
  • economic circumstances
  • demographic
What to do next:
Look at other essays: