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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

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The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
The
population
Use synonyms
 of China
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
14
Change preposition
of 14
show examples
Use synonyms
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 gradually from more
then
Linking Words
 35% in 1960 to around 17.5% in 2050.
While
Linking Words
 that of the
age
Use synonyms
 15-64
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 gradually from more
then
Linking Words
 35% in 1960 to 70% in 2020,
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 to around 52.5% in 2050. For
age
Use synonyms
 65 or above, the
population
Use synonyms
 remains steadily under 17.5%, with slitely
increase
Use synonyms
 until 2010,
then
Linking Words
 shows
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2050, from less
then
Linking Words
 17.5% to more
then
Linking Words
 17.5%. The date reflect aging
population
Use synonyms
 in China, with
percentatge
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
decrease
Use synonyms
 in children,
working
Add an article
a working
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 and
percentatge
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 in elderly. Young
chindren
Correct your spelling
children
 are the future
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
, and
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 used to predict the
population
Use synonyms
forcast
Correct your spelling
forecast
, to reflects the sociely's future. In the three
age
Use synonyms
group
Check wording
groups
show examples
,
age
Use synonyms
 15-64 is within the
workng
Correct your spelling
working
population
Use synonyms
, its
decrease
Use synonyms
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 the
sociaty's
Correct your spelling
society's
 productivity as there are
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 employees. The
agening
Correct your spelling
ageing
population
Use synonyms
 issues may lead to
poorer
Add an article
a poorer
show examples
 economy. The working
population
Use synonyms
 has the most purchasing power
,
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
 as their percentage
Use synonyms
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
, the society's purchasing power decreases.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age, decrease, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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