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Band 5.5

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

#times #adults #time #families #friends #change #parents #force #children #home
Nowadays, youngsters are spending more
time
 with their friends rather than family members.
This
 essay suggests that the main reason for
this
scenairo
an outline or synopsis of a play (or, by extension, of a literary work)
scenario
 is the influence of
nuclear family
Suggestion
the nuclear family
, and will argue that parents should
compell
force somebody to do something
compel
compelled
compels
 children to spend more
time
 with in the family as it helps young adults to become responsible persons. Youths are spending more
time
 with their peers is due to the busy life of parents in nuclear families.
That is
 to say that in
such
 small families, both parents are busy, and they do not have
time
 to take care of their children.
As a result
, children
have spend
Suggestion
have spent
 more
time
 with their friends, and be more attached with friends than family members.
For example
, a recent study conducted in Manipal University in India found that 87% of youths from nuclear families have given
priorty
status established in order of importance or urgency
priority
 to their friendships than family relationships,
where as
on the other hand
whereas
, 90% of young adults from joint family have given priority to their family
realtionships
a relation between people; ('relationship' is often used where 'relation' would serve, as in 'the relationship between inflation and unemployment', but the preferred usage of 'relationship' is for human relations or states of relatedness)
relationships
relationship
 than friendships. In my opinion, parents should
compell
force somebody to do something
compel
compelled
compels
 children to spend more
time
 with in the family because it will make them learn about the
imporatnce
the quality of being important and worthy of note
importance
 of family relationship.
In other words
, it is the
responsibly
Suggestion
responsibility
responsibilities
 of parents to make the
child
 more
resposible
worthy of or requiring responsibility or trust; or held accountable
responsible
 for the family, and thereby for the society. If children spend more
time
 with family members, they would learn many life values
such
 as love and sacrifice, and become more
resposible
worthy of or requiring responsibility or trust; or held accountable
responsible
 citizens in
future
Suggestion
the future
.
For instance
, it is suggested by Ms. Merlin Jacob, a world famous
child
 psychologist that the
child
 who spend more
time
 with their family members are 70% less likely to do antisocial behaviours than the
child
 who spend more
time
 with friends. In conclusion, the primary cause for youths spending more
time
 with their peers is the influence of nuclear families, and I believe the parents force the children to spend more
time
 with in the family and teach the
imporatnce
the quality of being important and worthy of note
importance
 of family relationship.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
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