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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. -How far do you agree? -What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid

#people #workers #nurses #doctors #teachers #film #actors #company #bosses #sums #money #proportion #importance #work #-how #-what #criteria
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Many people claim that important professions like doctors
,
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,
nurses
,
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,
and teachers are being underpaid and worthless compared to the film Celebrities.
However
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, in my opinion Being a
moviestar
Suggestion
movie star
 is itself hard and challenging to maintain their social and private life.
First
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 Of all being a public figure is not easy to balance their lifestyle.Public required perfect outlook.To fit in a movie character the actor need to go through the extreme diet and physical exertion which bearing a burden that nurses and doctors and teachers might have never come through
this
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.
This
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 may cause
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on their health.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
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,
 to become a public eye requires great commitment and
ofcourse
Suggestion
of course
 hard work
.
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.
 All the actors
can not
can not
cannot
 get
the the
definite article
the
hight
the vertical dimension of extension; distance from the base of something to the top
height
heights
weight
 of success, only
few
Suggestion
a few
 can reached on the top.People
xan
Suggestion
Xan
can
 be influenced by them so sometime they have to do what actually they are not
.
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.
Their activities what they do
,
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,
what they eat, where they everything is being
monitired
keep tabs on; keep an eye on; keep under surveillance
monitored
mentored
 by media or people
.
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.
So they have to live standard life with luxurious car
,
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,
clothes and house.Media is always after them
.
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.
it
Suggestion
It
 seems like they do not have
private life
Suggestion
a private life
 or privacy.
Linking Words
However other
Accept comma addition
However, other
 job holders
such
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 as doctor, nurse, and teachers has
Contemporary role
Suggestion
a Contemporary role
 for
nation
Suggestion
nations
the nation
 to make the people healthy and
educative
Suggestion
educated
.The development of society and country
s
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
is
 impossible without them.These are the back hone of
Country
Suggestion
the Country
.The government should provide them appropriate salary. TO recapitulate not only doctors
,
Accept space
,
nurses and
teachers but
Accept comma addition
teachers, but
also
Linking Words
 film star
shoud
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
showed
 be paid more wages as they have their different sacrifice for the nation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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