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Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph below gives the information about the rates of unemployment between 1991 and 2005 in three different countries.The table shows the percentage of men and women in the workforce in three countries.

The line graph below gives the information about the rates of unemployment between 1991 and 2005 in three different countries.The table shows the percentage of men and women in the workforce in three countries.
#line #information #rates #unemployment #three #countries #percentage #men #women #workforce
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The line graph shows data about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unemployment
Use synonyms
 over
period
Add an article
a period
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 of 14 years , from 1991 and 2005 in three respective countries,
while
Linking Words
 the table illustrates the proportion of male and female employees in three respective countries.
It is clear that
Linking Words
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rates in Spain decreased dramatically
while
Linking Words
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 there were mild fluctuations.
In contrast
Linking Words
,in
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy
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 it increased considerably. In 1991
Use synonyms
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate was around 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in Spain ,
while
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Germany
Use synonyms
 and Italy
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 about 8 and 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 respectively.In 2005 the proportion of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in Spain declined enormously. In
Use synonyms
Germany
Add a comma
,Germany
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 it fluctuated and remained steady,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Italy there was a significant increase of 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rates from 4 to 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, between 1991 and 2005. By far the highest rate of employment for males was in Italy with 77.1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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whereas
Linking Words
 for females in
Use synonyms
Germany
Add a comma
,Germany
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 the percentage of employees was 54.4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by abdulloaxrorov998 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, germany, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • workforce participation
  • line graph
  • percentage
  • trends
  • comparison
  • data analysis
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