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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts
illutrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
illustrate
 the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 used for industrial, agricultural , and domestic
use
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is mostly used for agricultural purposes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in North America and
Europe
Add a comma
,Europe
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is mainly used for industry. As presented in the graph North America uses
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 in
industry
Add an article
the industry
an industry
show examples
 which is
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
48
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Followed by, agricultural used and
doemstic
Correct your spelling
domestic
 used which
areat
Correct your spelling
are at
are
 39 and 13
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,respectively.
Linking Words
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
show examples
 in
Europe
Add a comma
,Europe
show examples
 53
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
isused
Correct your spelling
is used
 for industry and 32
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
is uses
Change the verb form
is used
show examples
 for
agricultur
Correct your spelling
agriculture
.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
,Lastly
show examples
 only 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 is domestic
use
Use synonyms
. In south America
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
perfcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
water
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
is used
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 for agricultural
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
followed by domestic
use
Use synonyms
 and industrial
use
Use synonyms
 which is
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
19 and 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,respectively
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 In
Africa
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 Central
Asia
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, and South East
Asia
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 Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the highest
use
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 of
water
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 for agriculture which is at 88
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 followed by
Africa
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 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 which
areat
Correct your spelling
are at
are
 84 and 81
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,respectively. In these three
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the highest
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
use
Use synonyms
 which is at 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 followed by
Africa
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 and Central
Use synonyms
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
 which is at seven and five
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
Africa
Use synonyms
 has the highest
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 for domestic
use
Use synonyms
 followed by central
Use synonyms
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 which
use
Use synonyms
 the same amount of
water
Use synonyms
 which is at seven
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, asia, percent, africa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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