Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?

#sales #companies #people #money #workers #force #work #factors #consideration #staff #positions

Mostly

Suggestion

Most

people

work

hard, struggle from hand to mouth to graduate with high score so they can find

good

Suggestion

a good job

good jobs

job

with high earning and vast allowance packages so they can provide every comfort and luxury

Suggestion

for

their family. Along with working in

largest

Suggestion

larger

, high grossing and best performing company to get good experience, earning

high

Suggestion

a high salary

salary

also

very important for

job

satisfaction. An employee

always desire

Suggestion

always desires

work

in a profit –making and richest company where he can

work

with friendly, encouraging and supportive staff, a good working experience and high wage with health insurance, travel allowance, paid sick leave, holidays and vacations.

Furthermore

, if you will earn

good

Suggestion

a good salary

salary

then

there will no need to do part-time

job

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their family expenses and can spend extravagant and happy time 70with them after busy office schedule. A research was done in American joint committee in 2015, 40 people

work

in their desire department with less

salary

while 40 people choose their desire

salary

with

tough working environment

Suggestion

the tough working environment

. After 1 year, people working in their selective department need to do part-time or extra

job

to complete their family requirement were more stressful and exhausted while people choose high wage get

promotion

Suggestion

a promotion

by their full focus and hard

work

on one

job

. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that money should be basic and primary concern of every employee while he get one or more

job

opportunities. Because every need of life related to buying new mobile, car, house, providing better education to the children, or planning

foreign visit

Suggestion

a foreign visit

can only get by money.

Submitted by Sila Muntaha on Sat Jul 04 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born

In cities many people are living alone. What are the reasons for it? It is a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that it is better for students to work before their university studies. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?