IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Now more than ever, people are aware of the importance of good health. Unfortunately, many have poor lifestyle habits that are difficult to break. It is crucial for people to adopt better physical and dietary routines if they expect to improve their health. Which of the following do you think is the best way to stay in good health? - Participating in group sports - Learning how to cook healthy meals - Joining a gym and following a strict exercise routine.

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What is the way to keep us healthy?
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

First
Add a comma
,First

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase First. Consider adding a comma.

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 you should eat
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily

The adjective healthy is modifying eat instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

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. A healthy meal consists of fruit and vegetables. For strong bones and teeth, drink more
yogurt
Change the spelling
yoghurt

The spelling of yogurt is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 and milk and eat more cheese. It is advisable to avoid food that contains too much sugar or junk food. And
second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we should exercise for more than 1 hour. Doing exercise helps to reduce heart diseases and high blood pressure.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
,example

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For example. Consider adding a comma.

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 do exercise
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as walking or running or swimming or play sports to maintain good health.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Third
Add an article
The third

The noun phrase Third seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 is to sleep for more than 8 hours. And
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is to not smoke or drink or do drugs. If you smoke your heart and lungs will get
bad
Replace the word
worse

The word bad doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 and could give you cancer and in serious
cases
Add a comma
,cases

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in serious cases. Consider adding a comma.

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 it may even cause death.
Human
Add an article
The human

The noun phrase Human body seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 body contains 70% of water and we should drink 8 glasses of water per day. Water is needed to flush all the toxins in our body. In conclusion, it is extremely important for us to do or follow these steps in order to stay healthy and live much longer.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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