In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In recent years, how youngsters spend their
time
has changed: more
time
with their
friends
and less
time
with their family.
This
essay explores the reasons for
this
phenomenon and gives
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
opinion about the way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
spending
time
.
To begin
with, the change of young adults being
time
with their loved ones comes from several reasons. One of them is that a number of women have begun to work full-
time
so that both
parents
tend to be busy,
thus
contributing to less
time
with their
children
. Another important reason is that, with the development
technology
Change preposition
of technology
show examples
, social networking services
such
as
twitter
Change the capitalization
Twitter
show examples
and Instagram have become popular among the young, which allows them to communicate with their
friends
more easily.
This
results in them spending more
time
together.
Although
parents
would be unable to have much
time
with their
children
, I believe they should refrain from compelling their
children
to stay at home.
Firstly
, if the young are forced to stay at home, their
parents
would be swamped with their work and it would end up that their
children
stay at home alone, which would not contribute to the increase of family
time
.
Secondly
, the
time
spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being with
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
fiends
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
would be valuable for youngsters. As they have something that they refrain from talking to their
parents
regarding
romantic
Add an article
a romantic
the romantic
show examples
relationship, in Japan, their
friends
would be the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
that they can rely on about
such
problems. In conclusion, there are several reasons why young adults have changed the way to spend their
time
and, in my opinion, their
parents
should avoid controlling
this
trend because it would be challenging and
children
need some
time
with their
friends
.
Submitted by puffindog101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!